The #1 Secret to Giving the Hottest Blow Job Ever



11 Things About Blow Jobs That Change After Marriage

1. They're no longer a job.Literally everyone has a boyfriend at some point in her life to whom giving a blow job could be equated with actualwork. Likeworkbecause he lies back asleep while you think about the travesty that is climate change andworkbecause it's just about as fun as filing paperwork like you did when you were a temp in college. Now, blow jobs aren't jobs! They should be called, I don't know, blow play?? Oh, that sounds like foreplay. Which leads me to...

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2.You're definitely going to get some kind of pleasure.Shoutout to all the douchebags whose penises you met in your wild years who fell asleep post-BJ! Now, you'redefinitelygetting somethingafterwards, whether it's because the blow job was just foreplay or because he decides to do something else for you. This is not because it's tit-for-tat, but because you're adults and this is about pleasingeach other.

3. He knows how nominal (or massive) your gag reflex is.And if you have a teeny tiny gag reflex that can't take more than a Dum Dum lollipop, he doesn't care and would rather you skip the theatrics and not choke.

4. You know the last time he showered or went to the gym.This makes it a lot easier to determinewhenandifyou would like to do said act.

5. If something weird happens, like teeth, or the position is off, NBD.Remember when you were going down a guy you had been going out with for a month and something would happen — like you would accidentally bite his shaft — and it would be awkward AF? Now, no big, moving along, provided he's not bleeding.

6. You don't want to die if there's eye contact.If you peer upwards for a second to check up on how he's doing and he looks down and sees you, chances are it's not going to be terrifying. (Flashback to all those terrible moments of awkward moments in your younger days.The horror.)

7. There are no weird penis surprises at all.Penis Surprise! is the casserole dish I bring to parties. Just kidding. But isn't it sort of comforting to know you won't be surprised by, say, something that's uncircumcised? Or has unique curvature? Or something that's larger than your arm? Not that any of those arebad,but it's nice to know what you're getting into.

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8. No surprise facials/accidental eyeshots!What is it about some men that makes them think they can just jizz on your face without asking!? By the time you're married, your guyknowsif you're into facials or not and where you're OK with his stuff landing. He also (hopefully) knows that jizz in the eye can be painful, so he is very careful.

9. There's no pressure to swallow.He's also aware that his semen is not a perfectly aged chardonnay and that it is, in fact, straight-up regular jizz.

10.The cleanup is way less awkward.If you're a spitter and bolt to the sink, that's fine. And if youdochoose (again, CHOOSE!) to swallow and make a joke like, "mmm, barbecue!" he's not offended. And if it lands all over the sheets, he's not weirdly disgusted at the sight of his own semen. Just time to the laundry, NBD.

11. Sometimes you reeeaaallllyyyyyyyyy don't want to do it.....and nobody is offended. Your partner knows it's not his penis, and that maybe you're just not up for anything sex involving effort. (I know I said they're not jobs, but when you're dead tired, the last thing you want to do is go down on someone.) Sometimes, sprawling out across the bed like a dead starfish is just what you need, and that's totally cool, too. There is 0 pressure, ever, to do anything. Andthatis pretty hot.






Video: BLOW JOBS: SPIT OR SWALLOW?

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Date: 13.12.2018, 09:22 / Views: 42253