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8 Things Your College-Bound Kid Desperately Wants to Hear from You

1. I trust you.

By now, your teen probably knows a lot about sex, drugs and alcohol, even if you haven't given hours-long lectures about each. So at 17/18 years old, she likely doesn't want more info, but she does want your vote of confidence. If she's going away to school, you won't know how often she gets drunk before she's legally allowed to drink, but it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy: Let her know you believe she'll make good decisions, and she just might live up to that.

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2. We can talk as often or as little as you like.

Living away from home for perhaps the first time and balancing demanding classes with an equally demanding social life really can be stressful—before you mandate that you Skype every other day at 8 P.M. no matter what. Of course you should contact your child whenever you please, but letting your child choose when to chat makes it feel less like an obligation.

3. If it gets overwhelming, I'll help you.

The distance can make a student believe there's nowhere to turn if college life becomes too much. Making it clear that you both understand that things can get tough and you will work together to make things easier reminds your child that you're there, even if it feels like you're not.

4. Here's a credit card for emergencies.

One of the best things my parents did for me was set me up with a credit card, which was to be used only when I truly needed something, like a cab ride if I were stranded somewhere without cash. And as my mom explained, a cute new top was not an emergency. You know how many times I used that card for purchases my parents hadn't pre-sanctioned? Zero.

5. Your room will stay exactly as you leave it.

Even if it seems like a waste to keep your child's bedroom as it is, knowing this haven isn't changing is comforting to a kid experiencing so much upheaval. It may make sense for you to use the space for storage—or downsize entirely. But if you can swing keeping the room as is, your child will appreciate it. And remember: Dorm dwellers return home throughout the year.

6. I'll let you know about big changes at home.

Your student likely won't care about the minutiae—your new garden gnome, your hairstylist's new dog—but the biggies—your next-door neighbor moving away, you and your hubby going on vacation—warrant a heads-up. True story: My grandparentsmovedwhile my aunt was away at school, and forgot to tell her their new address. Then, she came home to visit… You wouldn't make a mistake that big, but what slips your mind when your child's out of sight may surprise you.

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7. Yes, you can bring your laundry home.

Washing clothes at college is a demoralizing process filled with fighting for empty machines and picking clothes off the floor when a student doesn't retrieve them the second the dryer stops. Your laundry room is paradise compared to many dorm facilities.

8. It's OK if youdon't love school.

Most teens adapt to and fall in love with college life almost instantly. Others need more time. Others never get there. Let yours know that, after she gives it the old college try (pun intended), if it's still not a fit, you'll support her in making a change—be that transferring to another school, commuting from home to attend classes (if you didn't already convert her room to a gym) or taking time off to figure it all out.






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Date: 12.12.2018, 07:52 / Views: 83232