How to Have Amazing Charisma and Passion:Tools for having more Enthusiasm
How to Be More Enthusiastic
Being super low energy can be such a downer -- a downer at home, a downer in the workplace, a downer in our own heads. Not only do others enjoy enthusiastic people, but we enjoy ourselves more when we're full of passion, inspiration, and drive. What's the key to getting excited over the little things? Let's explore.
Getting Your Head Right
Find yourself.It's pretty hard to be enthusiastic about life when you're living someone else's. Not being yourself is just so draining; no wonder it's hard to muster up enthusiasm. In order to channel that gusto, you gotta be yourself first and foremost. Pretending to be something you're not takes up all your resources youcouldbe using on doing what you actually enjoy and could get excited about.
- A lot of us try super hard to fit into a mold that society has deemed correct. Boo. We're not going to enjoy the things our friends enjoy, we're not going to get fulfillment out of the things that fulfill others. So don't waste your time! It's only when you're naturally you that you can find what drives you and grab a firm hold.Thenyou can work on being enthusiastic.
Figure out why you're lacking enthusiasm.You're on this page for a reason. Most likely someone around you is giving you crap about your lack of energy. Very few people look objectively at themselves and say, "Hmm. I wonder why I'm not peppier." But whatever your reason, you probably have an inkling as to why. Is it your job? Your love life? Or is it more of a universal, 24/7 thing that's dragging you down?
- It's natural to get stuck in a rut. These things happen. They also end at some point. But then there's clinical depression and that's a whole other can of worms. If it's something you've never thought about, think about it now. Is it a lack of enthusiasm or is it a bigger issue? What's your gut tell you?
Start thinking positively.If someone handed you a math test and said, "Here's the exam. It's stuff you didn't even dream of touching in college. Good luck, kid," how might that feel? Pretty daunting, probably. If instead they said, "Here's the exam -- it's gonna be tough, but it's doable," what would you think then? You'd be a lot more motivated and feel a lot better about taking that exam! The same goes for enthusiasm; you're not gonna get excited about something if it's terrible!
- Think about it. How easy is it to be excited about something that's doable and that you know you're capable of achieving? It's a lot harder to get enthusiastic about things that we straight up don't think will ever materialize. And what's often the difference?Our way of thinking.Sometimes, that's literally the only obstacle.
Define your goals and how you'll achieve them.Now that you're at least trying to think positive, what are the goals that you'd like to achieve? How would you go about achieving them? What do you want to be enthusiastic about? It's hard to be enthusiastic when we're floundering about life without purpose.
- Knowingexactlywhat you want to do andexactlyhow you want to go about it is giving you something to be enthusiastic about. If you want to get skinny, it's hard to be enthusiastic about wanting to get skinny. But if you're working out 30 minutes a week and eating tons of veggies, that's direct behavior to get excited about.
Convince yourself.It's all well and good to have goals, but you gotta actually believe that you can achieve them. If your goal is too lofty, bring it down a notch. Bring it down a notch until you can readily believe that it's something you can make happen. If it's realistic, the only thing stopping you is you.
- Having a goal of becoming the King or Queen of England would be pretty damn hard to get excited about. Make sure your goals are feasible -- if in doubt, just start on a slightly smaller scale. Want to start your own business but don't know thing one about it? Make goals of taking business courses and networking. Smaller things that are totally doableandtotally useful.
Get over your fear of disappointment/making the wrong decision/looking silly.Often when we're not enthusiastic, it's because we've made up some excuse as to why not to be. We don't want to be enthusiastic because we don't want to get our hopes up, we're not enthusiastic because we're too unsure to be enthusiastic, or we're not enthusiastic because we're worried others will judge us. These are all crap reasons! Your enthusiasm should be undaunted and unaffected by others or by insecurities. What's stopping you?
- Realize that your desire to be enthusiastic is there -- it's just buried under a pile of worry and fear. When we grow up, often adults call that "reason." It's very much so a learned thing. We had it when we were children; it's time to get it back!
Find what you really enjoy and do it all the time.It's no way to live life unhappy. Working a pointless job, drinking away the weekends, surrounding ourselves with meaningless relationships -- it all can get quite bleak. It's no wonder being enthusiastic is a struggle when we're behind a screen 8 hours a day, eating junk and lamenting our current circumstances. However you can, find something you enjoy andstick with it. Do it as much as you can. Give your life that spark it needs to generate enthusiasm.
- It does not matter what it is. Whether it's building model airplanes, cooking, karate, or German karaoke, do it. Make time for it. Rearrange your schedule. Sacrifice other obligations. Make it a part of your routine. If it gives you drive and ignites a fire within you, latch onto it and latch onto it good. The enthusiasm will flow from there.
Keep good company.Ever been in a room full of naysayers, raggin' on the government, current trends, all their coworkers and acquaintances? It sucks and it's super contagious. Before you know it, you're hating on everything, too. Don't do it! These people take what little enthusiasm can be mustered and pulverize it into oblivion. If you want to work on your positivity and enthusiasm, these people need to play a much smaller role in your life.
- The first step is to end your toxic friendships. If you get about 5 seconds to think about it, you'll probably have a good idea of who this means. Once the negativity is expunged, think up of three people that truly make you feel downrightgood. When you have free time, they should be the people you go to. They can be enthusiasm role models to boot!
Get healthy.You know how people say if you eat junk food, you'll feel crappy all day? Well, it's true. And it's a lot harder to feel mentally in the zone when you're not physically in it, either. So eat healthy! Your enthusiasm is worth it, right?
- Here's another example: have you ever been laying in bed all day, wondering why you're so exhausted? And then you realize it's because you haven't done a damn thing all day. Getting up and exercising would make you that much more energized. So start exercising! That endorphin rush will be step one to feeling the inspiration flow through your views.
- Get a good night's sleep! It's so hard to be enthusiastic when we're tired. In fact, we're pretty much the opposite of enthusiastic when we're exhausted. If you haven't been sleeping lately, that could be a cause of your lack of energy. So rest up!
Make a list of things you're grateful for.You know that positive thinking is imperative to being enthusiastic, but finding the motivation for that positivity can be tough. To lessen the burden, make a list of things you're grateful for. Seeing a concrete list of everything you have going for will make it hard to deny why you should be enthusiastic.
- Don't give up after 5 minutes. Sometimes it's hard to think of things we're grateful for because we have them. We have them 24/7, so their awesomeness goes away. Your legs. Remember those? Those are awesome. Aren't you glad you have them?
Act enthusiastic.You know that ol' saying "practice makes perfect?" Well, it's crap. But practicedoesmake habit. Act enthusiastic for long enough and eventually it'll be your go-to emotion. It'll take some time, but it's definitely doable. So don that enthusiastic hat of yours and start faking it!
- Yeah, it's gonna suck for a bit. It's gonna feel like you're being a phony. Smiling and laughing and saying things like, "Oooh, yeah!" are going to feel foreign. If nothing else, start saying them sardonically. Be chipper to poke fun at the anti-chipperness of your personality. Find an excuse to fake it until you're not faking it any longer.
Exclaim things.Alright, so maybe you're not really in the mood to put in tons of effort. But youareof the practice makes habit sort of mind, so how can you fake it? Start by exclaiming things. Whether it's "Hell yeah!" or "jolly good," or "Well sit me down and call me Sally!" is up to you. The more you react and with pizzazz, the more people will be fooled.
- Imagine your friend Ted walks into the room. You two make eye contact, give each other a nod, and you say, "Sup." Not even in question form. Just "sup." He responds with, "Yo." Greeting exchanged. Now imagine Ted walks into the room and you say, "HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" and then you run around to room, arms flailing like the T-Rex you've always wanted to be. Who's enthusiastic now, huh?
Move around.So an integral part of "HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" was the running around bit. You can't really sit back in your armchair, eyebrows unmoving, glued to the Discovery channel and exclaim those words with the same effect (well, you could...). So the next time you find yourself thinking, "It would be appropriate to be excited right now," do something with yourself. Jump up and down. Wave your arms like a madman (don't do this in public). Hi-five your grandma (especially if she's the one who wants you to be more energetic). Make a choice and commit to it.
- You could do a happy dance. You could make a finger gun and pretend you're the Fonz. You could point your thumbs at yourself and talk about how awesome you are. Why don't you try them all out and see what reactions you get?
Get theatrical.When you're thinking "enthusiasm...enthusiasm," instead try thinking, "bigger." How can you make everything you're doing bigger? Try remembering this: you're not in a movie. There is no camera. You're on a stage where you have to show 1500 people in the 4th balcony that's practically a half mile away of what you're feeling, thinking, and doing. How might your behavior get grander?
- The next time your roommate walks in and says, "Hey, roomie. I just made cupcakes!" you're not going to respond with, "Oh, awesome, thanks. I love cupcakes." No, no, no. You're going to punch the air John Bender Breakfast Club style, get on both knees and exclaim, "My cupcake queen, how can I repay thee?" and then run to the kitchen and shove a cupcake in your face. You're truly taking one for the team. Go you.
Use your face.All of this advice just won't jive with those around you if your face doesn't match your words, tone, or body. When Ted walks in the room, smile. Widen your eyes. When roommate #2 informs you she's made you cupcakes, drop your jaw in gratitude. Whenever you're faking an emotion (you can be enthusiastically negative, by the way), make sure you're covering all your bases.
- You know exactly how to do this. You've seen people before and what facial expressions go with what emotion. The only thing you have to change is to make it bigger, making sure it registers with people. You gotta make sure your enthusiasm is heardandseen.
Go for volume.So about that "heard" part. It's not so much that loudness equates with enthusiasm, it's just that quietness usually equates with a lack of enthusiasm. So when you're telling Ted how happy you are to see him, don't do it in a whisper. When you're overjoyed about cupcakes, put your lungs to work. There's no need to scream, but your enthusiasm should be a bit unconstrained, if you will. Take whatever's normal for you and bump 'er up a notch.
- Think of what a teenage girl does when she sees Robert Pattinson or Justin Bieber. She screams and gets all flitty. Don't do that. Butdomake a note. When enthusiasm needs to be displayed, channel your inner Team Edward (but feel free to keep it at a dull roar). If nothing else, do it satirically. Only you need to know that you're poking fun at those around you. Why do they demand enthusiasm anyway?
Ask questions.A simple way to seem enthusiastic is to ask questions. It shows you're interested and engaged in the moment. And then what happens when you ask questions? People respond and they might say something thatactuallysparks your interest, if it didn't before. So make the first step! Ask questions, get the ball rolling, and see how it grows from there.
- It's easy to write off a topic/thing/person as uninteresting, judging a book by its cover, if you will. Resist! If you're tempted, make it a point to pry a bit further. You may find that lifting the veil sparks your curiosity. And that curiosity may lead you to finding something worth being enthusiastic about!
Laugh.One of the simplest ways to get happy is to start laughing. Start laughing and being happy and enthusiasm will follow. It can naturally put you in a better mood and get the creativity and positivity flowing.
Get awe-ful.After a certain amount of time in an environment, the novelty of it all goes away. You quit noticing what once stopped you dead in your tracks with its beauty. You stop asking questions and wondering. You stop feeling awestruck. When that happens, enthusiasm escapes like grains of sand through your fingers. All of a sudden life is drab and unremarkable. Don't let that happen.
- Simple things like the beauty of a sunset can bring enthusiasm back. The architecture of your favorite local building. Heck, a group of children building snowmen. When you stop and smell the roses, you just might stop and find what'll keep you going -- what can be downright inspiring.
Try new things.A simple way to start getting awestruck again is to try to new things. Life can get boring doing the same ol', same ol' -- so mix it up! It's impossible to maintain enthusiasm about something you've been doing year in and year out. And it's ridiculous to expect yourself to be enthusiastic if you don't have an exciting routine!
- Even the smallest of change-ups can do wonders. Have you been running 3 miles (4.8 km) a day for the past six months? Find a new trail! Start cooking at home. Pick up a hobby. Go thrift shopping. Explore the tourist attractions in your area. It doesn't have to be big; it just has to be different.
Keep learning.Imagine a relationship with a person that you've known your entire life. It probably starts getting a little boring when you stop learning about that person, when you know everything there is to know. The same goes for life! If you quit learning, you'll run out of reasons to get inspired. So do more thorough research, seek out experts, tap into your network. Whatever it is you want to do, dig indeeper.
- It doesn't have to be book learning. You can learn from those around you, you can learn from yourself, heck, you can learn from wikiHow. Just keep seeking knowledge -- the more you know, the more interesting things become. Life included!
- Sudden zest for life may cause feelings of elation, dizziness and heart palpitations. It may also cause more people to actually enjoy your company.
Sources and Citations
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