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I Need To (Gently) Get My Daughter Out Of My Bed

Dec 6, 2012

Help!

I've created a monster!

About a year ago, I started letting Anna sleep in bed with me at night. It wasn't a unilateral decision or anything - it sort of crept up on me. David has always been a kid who goes down like a stone at night, and Anna is my night owl (much like her mother). Since Anna is a bit older, this works out well because it gives her and I some time to connect without David interrupting. David's autism gives him numerous, repetitive behaviors that can be a bit draining and he's practically chained to my side from the moment I get home. Anna really gets the short end of the stick in parental attention when he's around. I saw no harm in her curling up with me at night as we discuss her day and my day and just reconnect.

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It started out with her hanging out for awhile before going to her bed. Now it's her hanging out and both of us falling asleep in my bed. Now she's at the point where she can't sleep in her own bed at all - and it really frustrates her. She'll start out in there, but then she gets scared and upset and ends up in bed with me after all.

Part of me thinks it's not a big deal - and I tell her so because I think the more she gets upset, the harder she makes it for herself. She's got years to grow out of this, and I'm sure she will. Besides, nobody else is sharing that bed with me - it's not like she's displacing anybody. But another part of me knows this is a bad precedent. I really don't like the thought of Anna growing up feeling like she just can't be alone (she sleeps in bed with her brother at her Dad's house, as well). I don't want her ever to look at being alone as something to be feared. I've met women who were terrified of being alone, and they always seem to make bad decisions relationship-wise based on that fear as they go through life. That's the last thing I want for Anna!

Am I making too big a deal out of worrying about this? She is young enough that we have plenty of time to work with, but I am concerned that she's developing an issue that might haunt her later.






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Date: 11.12.2018, 14:42 / Views: 35245