a guest21.11.16 11:15

Son does not want to learn

Hello! Tell me, if the chance to teach a teenager to learn, to interest him, if the habit has not yet been formed? There are different opinions: that if he did not teach a child to study in elementary school, now there is nothing to try - either to control until the end of school, or to accept it as it is and hire tutors. Others say that it is necessary to do homework with the child until the end of school and check homework, even in high school. My son studies in the 7th grade, at the same time he is seriously engaged in sections (sports, dancing and vocals), he does not like to study. With pleasure and independently makes d / s only in those subjects that you like, you can not force the rest. He will do whatever he wants - he will clean the floors, clean up, agree to help in something, just not to learn. For the whole day, with grief in half can do one task, for example. He loves only when he is taught - that is, with tutors, but NOT CAM. At the same time, he is not stupid, his brain works well and the teachers, in general, love him, although they say that he is lazy. But due to the fact that he really does not learn, with knowledge - the trouble. There are no special problems with assessments so far, but if you dig deeper ... I work a lot.I only see a child a couple of hours in the morning and the same in the evening. I already have no power to check d / z. How to proceed? To overpower yourself and sit down with him and check every day lessons, like in elementary school? Or hire tutors? In all subjects you can not hire the same. Thank you very much in advance



Your letter is “saturated” with high concern for your son. You probably regret your missed opportunities at school and are now trying to protect your own son, or you have some idea, image of a successful teenager, which your son should follow.

You write that “a son with PLEASURE and INDEPENDENTLY does his homework,” although in those subjects he likes, “his brain works well” and “his teachers love him.” All these facts indicate that your son already has the skill of independent learning, and he strives for knowledge, is able to establish contacts with teachers, and has good intellectual capabilities. Another thing is that the boy has an intense load after school - “he is seriously engaged in the sections (sports, dancing, vocals)”.In the life rhythm of the son there is no place for “doing nothing”, which is important for the development and maturation of any adolescent, since it is at these moments that he plunges into his inner world and remains alone with himself. Apparently, the son realizes this need by ignoring uninteresting, from his point of view, lessons, or washing the floors and cleaning, which he is ready to do with pleasure.

It is advisable to discuss with the son the negative and positive consequences of ignoring school subjects. Ask him the following questions: “What do you think, and why do children go to school at all?”, “What are the benefits of schooling?”, “If you start falling behind in some subjects, how do you think this can lead to? ”, Etc. .. Then it makes sense to ask the child how to solve the situation:“ How do you propose to solve this problem? ”,“ From whom did you want to get support in solving the situation? ”. And only after the answers are received from your son, offer your options and give examples from your near and far surroundings. Interested in the opinion of the son, you,

first, teach him to think about the consequences of his actions,

secondly, teach him to make independent decisions,

thirdly, you are learning how to find a solution, and

fourth, you demonstrate that you are always ready to support him in a difficult situation for him.

Sincerely, Dubrovskaya OV

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