Subconscious of children and their monsters

Subconscious of children and their monstersBrilliant guess, patient monitoring, or the memory of your own childhood trauma?



One of the ingenious discoveries of Sigmund Freud is the development of uncomplicated thoughts, dictated by simple common sense. According to her, the experience of the first years of life largely determines the behavior of an adult.


The psychoanalytic techniques proposed by Freud help to enter the labyrinths of memory, to find there the monsters left by childhood traumas. The psychotherapeutic approaches developed by Freud open up the possibility of expelling the monsters hiding in the subconscious, thereby freeing the soul from the poison of injuries suffered in childhood.


However, Freud himself refused to undergo a psychoanalytic influence, as if trying to avoid the pain that could have been caused by the repetition of the experience of his childhood grief.


But his childhood was so happy. Where is the trauma that he avoided?


Tender love for mother.

The union of mother and son Freud was the first child in the family and recognized mother's favorite.“A person who was a favorite of his mother retains the feeling of a conqueror throughout his life,” he writes later. In turn, his mother believed that she had introduced a great man to the world. The boy enjoyed a close and unclouded relationship with his mother during the first months of his infancy.


All his life, Freud idealized his mother and believed that of all human interactions, the connection between mother and son was "the most perfect, the most free of ambivalence."


The birth of a competitor and the feeling of rejection from the mother. Jealousy and hatred. Do we remember our childhood loneliness? When he was 11 months old, an extraordinarily important event took place in his life in the form of the appearance of a younger brother.


The child regarded his brother as an uninvited being, who had come so inappropriately, intruded into his life, and reacted to him with jealousy and rage.


“The child, relegated to the background of the birth of a new child, at first almost isolated from the mother, hardly forgives her this position; he has feelings that in an adult could be called deep bitterness, and often they become the cause of long-term alienation ”[8], Freud will say these words many years later in his lectures.


The death of a brother.Guilt Feeling When Freud speaks of a child’s egoistic feeling that “motivates a negative attitude toward the appearance of brothers and sisters” and includes “the desire to eliminate them without fail”, such conclusions are not the result of patient observation, but a bitter memory of the trauma experienced in early childhood.


He continues: “If such a desire is fulfilled, and death quickly takes away an undesirable new member of the family, then from analysis in later years you can find out what an important experience for the child was this death, although it could not be remembered” [8] .


Eight months later, the younger brother died, "... his death left behind me a grain of self-flagellation," Freud recalls.


The causal relationship between his painful jealousy and the “disappearance” of his brother led to a persistent education of guilt feelings and the theme of “guilt feelings of the one who survived”.


And again the ambivalence of feelings. Attitude to the nurse

Freud describes this woman as "the primary creator of my problems ... ugly, old, but clever, who told me important things about God and Hell ...". She was clumsy, inept, persuaded the child to steal money for her and badly cared for him.


At the same time, she “inspired him with a high opinion of his abilities, spoke about the meaning of existence ... took to church ... after which he spoke to his parents about how God controls his behavior" [And].


After the birth of his sister Anne, the importance of the nanny increased and she became like a surrogate mother while Freud's mother was busy raising children.


The disappearance of the nurse

The moment came when the nanny was not only convicted of theft, but also arrested. Her disappearance was for the child not only an injury, but also a trigger for new pathological feelings. He began to fear that just as his brother and nanny had disappeared, one day his mother might suddenly and incomprehensibly disappear.


Fear of disappearing mother

The negative attitude to his brother led, subconsciously believed the child to implement his wishes and the loss of his brother. His ambivalence to nurse, including anger and hurt, thus magically leads to its disappearance. But after all, his feelings for the mother are also dual, ambivalent, and include an insult for directing the feelings of motherly love he needs for other children. But if his negative feelings are magically realized, then his mother may also disappear.


Continuous circuit

In the subconscious of the child, a chain is formed, a kind of psychological unit that will follow him through life. Waiting for boundless love, extreme idealization, perception of the love object as a perfect, as perfect being as his mother was - all this could be poisoned by ambivalent feelings and go into the fear of loss. Moreover, this loss was "absolutely equivalent to the loss of peace."


For the rest of his life, there will remain in him a bitter feeling of un-affection, the love he has not received from his mother, a love given to others. He will in every possible way deny these feelings, will try to suppress them, trying to convince himself of the ideality of his relationship with his beloved mother.


In his relations with his close people, these two motives will always coexist: on the one hand, bitterness is undivided to the end of love, mixed with a sense of rejection; on the other hand, the extreme idealization of another person.


"In the two most important connections for Freud ... it was dominated by the desire to restore and maintain the ideal union with his mother, who was so traumatically destroyed by the birth of Julius and Anna. So it was with his wife Martha and his mentor Flies. ”


The trauma suffered in early childhood will have a huge impact on his health, instill in him an alarm that never goes to the end, will affect his inflated expectations from relationships with close people.


It will also help him to better understand human nature, to guess the causes of certain neurotic states. Analysis of his own injury will teach him to enter the subconscious, to clean it, while acquiring freedom.

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