What does femininity mean today?

As a child, mothers very diligently explained to some girls that being feminine is much more important than being clever, and to some people this truth was quoted exactly the opposite: you must first be smart, and then femininity will be added with age and experience. The most amusing in these arguments was the fact that femininity and intellect were divorced to the sides as two different poles, and if the first seemed something elegant and ephemeral, then the second was something difficult and difficult to achieve, like records in the gym that boys are given better.

In the process of growing up, when you finish school and after two or three unsuccessful novels and the pressing need to pay for an apartment, you come to the conclusion that the most balanced decision would be to focus on your career, the two poles of "femininity" and "intelligence" diverge again: you are hinting at the fact that you need to work, but not too much, so as not to turn into a bore-workaholic, and then into an old maid, and never forget that you also need to deal with your personal life

From this short sketch, in which someone will find parallels with himself, one can make a conclusion about what femininity is today and what its features are. This very femininity is allowed to be a little weak, but not lazy, strong, but not physically attractive, but not vulgar, moderately independent, but not penetrating brazenly into male territory. That is, femininity seems to be a kind of antithesis of masculinity;

In five minutes you can find three dozen courses or trainings on the Internet that promise to teach you how to be feminine and say that it is never too late to learn how to learn femininity. Counselors usually start with the fact that you need to decide on the goal, why do you need to be feminine: to learn how to seduce, improve family relations or be a more caring mother?

Please note that the idea of ​​being feminine is simply not considered for itself and the transformation into a more feminine being is directed at another person (lover, spouse, child)

Further, as a rule, there is quite a sober argument that femininity is a multifaceted concept, only when enumerating the facets of this very femininity, the classical stereotype that an ideal woman should be a mistress in the bedroom and a caring mother in the kitchen again comes to the fore. Usually, among the types of distinguish something like this:

The femininity of the seductress

This includes the entire “package” of the popular inhabitant of Instagram - visual appeal, grooming, seduction, sexuality. The last “dangerous” concept between the lines is interpreted rather as a seductive appearance (neckline, full lips and all that) in passive waiting mode than as a freedom-loving attitude towards sex and an active change of partners.

Publication by AnaCherí (@anacheri)Mar 26 2017 at 9:18 PDT

Aristocratic femininity

As an example, queens and modern princesses like Kate Middleton are put, who cannot even afford a mini skirt according to their status. This femininity is associated with wisdom, prudence and good education, while the word “intellect” is omitted, as if it means “too clever”, which a priori harms femininity.

Photo posted by Kate Middleton (@katemiddletonphotos)Feb 7 2016 at 8:37 am PST

Maternal femininity

Everything is clear here, and the description can be foreseen without even reading, but some words are painfully touched by an adequate woman, for example, “unconditional love for children” (sounds like a superhuman skill) or the ability to “create coziness” (sentimental interpretation of many hours of household chores ).

The photo was published by Naomi Davis // Love Taza (@taza)Feb 18 2016 at 8:42 PST

Femininity of girls

In this case, we are talking about an adult woman who, in order to “show herself weak,” pretends to be a child - a helpless, illegible and subject to emotions being. If you go back to the goals for which you should become feminine, in this case, femininity is drawn as a box that a man should open, help her, guide her on the right path, fill life with meaning, as if the woman herself is not capable of it.

Video posted by Miranda (@mirandakerr)Feb 5 2016 at 10:25 PST

As additional options, some advisers also cite the femininity of the muse (inspires the creator, that is, the man, but does not do anything herself), the geisha or the courtesan (masters the art of sex so that men can turn their heads) warrior - ready for anything to protect his family and hearth) and stuff like that.It turns out that a woman in the prism of this kind of advice looks like a certain multi-armed god Shiva - she is mysterious, open, and caring, and tempting, but all this is for someone’s sake or satisfaction. Paradoxical contradictions are found in every second opus on the theme of femininity, when the heroine who dreams of finding this femininity is encouraged to “be herself” at the same time, “not to obey social standards” and devote herself all-consumingly to her family or express herself through her husband. Stop-stop, is it possible to be feminine alone without the “Active Search” sticker on the forehead?

No matter how much the conservatives would like this, we will soon have to rethink femininity much further than courtesans, nurse mothers and amazons simply because the world has changed and women have the opportunity to choose their own life scenario from hundreds of thousands of different options. So, and femininity is transformed by itself. Someone will take something from a geisha, but under the “sauce” of the intellect, someone will follow the path of motherhood, but in an unconventional form, and someone would prefer to stay on the package “Temptress” and not move further, but simply Enjoying life.

To rethink femininity is not to put Barbie in pants and “stick” her brains, but to acknowledge the fact that for a woman to be successful (in her career, in the family, in the craft of a courtesan, finally) is just as important as for a man

But before or even instead of (as all these articles “How to become womanly” persistently assure) to seek approval of their success with a man, a woman will want to get this approval from herself and at this moment understand that she is confident and independent in any definition of femininity whatever she chose. So let March 8 be the day of not Turgenev women, not muses and not geishas, ​​but real self-sufficient women who do not need to be reflected in someone to be happy.



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