What is the method of identification of children with parents

What is the method of identification of children with parentsWhat is the method of identifying children with parents?

 

Scenario 1

The child was a constant witness of the father’s abuse of the mother. The father was not bad about the child. Matured son conflicts with his father, trying to protect his mother.

However, in his own family, the son repeats the role of a family tyrant, which leads to divorce and even the inability to start a family.

 

Scenario 2

A child grows up with a tyrant father who beats him and his wife. Fully psychologically dependent on the father.

After marriage, he vomits with his father, becomes overly dependent on his wife, loves her and the child, but is often rude, aggressive, which is the cause of divorce.

Violation of identification with the father. When the son does not want to be like his father and he succeeds. However, a collection of “photographs” of a father may evoke different feelings in an adult son.

He may not accept them and refuse to repeat the image of his father, his behavior, attitude towards his wife and child.There is a so-called negative identification, in which the child's brain refuses to reproduce the image of the father and chooses his complete opposite.

 

Scenario 1.Father-tyrant.

Children's memory can save "photos" of an angry father who beats a mother who tries to protect herself from the blows of the child.

Identification with the father is impossible. Is it possible to identify yourself with the one who tortured you, whom you hated and feared, with whom you fought every day, throwing all the resources of your childish soul on this sacred struggle for you? There is a rejection of the image of the father.

In this case, to the surprise of others, tyrants and tyrants grow sons, turning into wonderful family men.

 

Scenario 2.Father - a nurse, a rag, which all wiped his feet.

In childhood, a child can witness a completely different behavior of the father. He can not stand up for himself, he is all offended and humiliated, in the family hierarchy he occupies the lowest rank after the mother, grandmother, child and Tuzika dog.

After work, the father makes purchases at the store, does laundry, cooks, reads the child a book, takes out Tuzika, while the wife does nothing, does not want to work, and only taps on the phone with her friends.

Grown up son loves his father, but does not consider him a real man.More than anything, the son is afraid of being like his father. In this case, in his family, a son can demonstrate a completely different type of behavior and win respect and recognition of his rights from others.

However, it is not always possible to escape the villain of fate. Therefore, the son can repeat the fate of his soft father, who is unable to fight back, trying to please everyone "as long as it was quiet."

 

Education dyads and blocking a parent

 

 

In a normal family, identifying a child with a parent of the same sex is easy and almost imperceptible to others. However, in the presence of conflicts between spouses, the situation immediately takes on a dramatic character.

 

Scenario 1.Mother, beloved son and monster father. Mother prevents the boy and father from coming closer. "What an idiot like you can teach a child."

 

Scenario 2.Third wheel. The son finds himself in a more difficult situation in the event of disagreement between the father and mother and the intervention of a loving grandmother, who proclaims "Your husband is an empty place."

The grandmother takes care of the child, as if pushing her own daughter out of her maternal role. She, in turn, assumes purely male duties (“The more than a hundred times asking him to go for potatoes, I'd rather do it myself”) and gradually displaces the father from his male role.

After the wife ousts the husband from his male and paternal role, he turns out to be the third one, which is superfluous.



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