What threatens a marriage of convenience?
When people hear the phrase “marriage of convenience”, then public opinion is quickly divided into two wings: one part is absolutely certain that such unions do not carry anything good in themselves and are not able to survive for a long time.
Such people believe in love, believe that it should be the basis for a strong family union. The other half, on the contrary, are sincerely convinced that only marriages of convenience can be strong and, as they say, eternal, apparently, they do not believe in the proverb “with cute paradise and in a hut”.
The question, of course, is controversial, but still, is it always so bad to get married (or marry, do not be surprised, these men are not less than women) by calculation? Or do you have any of your pitfalls? What is dangerous marriage of convenience, or, conversely, in it you can find many advantages, which will destroy all unions for love? Let's try to understand this difficult question. For a start: what is it?
Marriage of convenience is, one can say, the official union of a man and a woman, who voluntarily consists without love, but assumes further material well-being, sometimes the goals may differ, but the essence remains the same.
If we turn to history, we can understand that marriages of convenience are a completely new concept, but rather, a well-forgotten old, which has come back to fashion, so to speak.
Even a hundred years ago, our great-grandmothers rarely married for love, rather, their life partner was chosen by their parents, first of all he had to be wealthy, and the second, love and some feelings.
Even earlier, marriages between privileged or royals became a solid basis for a strong and indestructible union between two nations, noble girls could not afford to marry a homeless poor, and, conversely, although, of course, there were surprising exceptions.
The times have passed, the manners have changed, but the essence remains the same: a girl from a wealthy family will want to continue the same comfortable and wealthy life after marriage, so she will look for a fitting couple for herself. So, it is difficult to call marriages of convenience something new; in fact, such stereotypes are laid down in people somewhere deep, even at the genetic level.
But, nevertheless, some changes have occurred: now another model of such unions is increasingly popular.A girl (or boyfriend) from a remote place who lived in poverty all her life, did not have the means for a good education and beauty salons, will almost always look for someone who can provide her with the necessary benefits.
No wonder about the "prince on a white horse" is already walking the whole legends, because the princes are always beautiful, rich and interesting personalities. It is a pity that all three qualities in one bottle are extremely rare, it is here that you have to make a lightning decision.
What is better, to jump out of marriage for love or to conclude an union because of some self-serving, but important, goals? In order to understand which of the most appropriate options, it is necessary to weigh all the pros and cons of marriage by calculation.
But still, it should be remembered that the perfect recipe does not exist, you can be happy in any union, no matter if it is calculated, or for love, it all depends on you and your attitude to the question.
Advantages of marriage for love:
- Love is a wonderful feeling that inspires and inspires a person, therefore, when a couple enters into a sacred family union, experiencing such feelings, it is probably difficult to imagine something more harmonious and delightful.
- Love makes you do wonderful things, make each other happy, there is a desire to make surprises, procreation is, most often, a great joy for both members of a young family.
- People who live in love marriages notice less of the disadvantages of a spouse, they often have a good mood and a desire to create, develop, there is a huge amount of incentives.
But, what to hide, people most often get married, experiencing a feeling of love, and not true love. Love, as you know, exists for about 1-3 years, after which the eyes open abruptly, the person begins to notice the shortcomings of the second half, there are some differences in character and future goals that have not been noticed before. Unfortunately, the ardent feelings, on which, basically, such marriages are based, evaporate, they are hammered by the routine and dullness of days, which causes a person to look for such feelings somewhere on the side.
No, of course, this is not the only scenario, as we have said, it all depends on people, on their desire to “refresh” and fill their own union with something new and no less beautiful.
Advantages of marriages of convenience
- Relationships in such marriages, most often, are even, because everyone fulfills their half of an unspoken contract.
- Both partners, entering into marriage, realistically assess the situation, soberly look at the advantages and disadvantages of each other, who concludes this alliance and why, and this means that in the future fewer surprises are expected.
- Material wealth, as well as other achievements of set goals and problems (promotion on the career ladder, education in prestigious universities, etc.).
- The calculation is not always material, often a woman or a man, once burned with passionate love, after which it decides to marry a good friend or just a person with whom it is warm and comfortable. Often these marriages are the strongest, because they are based on mutual friendship, respect and, over time, love, because a good person is much easier to love.
Naturally, in such a complex concept as marriages of convenience, about which many articles and books have already been written, it is difficult not to find the pitfalls, controversial issues and exciting issues. How long will such a union last? It all depends on the pair, if everyone will fulfill their obligations of the "contract", then, perhaps, all his life.
But, unfortunately, such unequal marriages often carry with them sad overtones: the spouse, whose condition is greater, feels himself the master of the situation, he completely pulls the “blanket of solutions” to himself, and not only financial ones.
That spouse, who completely depends on the financial situation of the second, can turn into a kind of expensive toy, for which they didn’t spare their money, but at any moment she might get bored or “go out of fashion”.
And here a wealthy, but already quite mature businessman, finds a young secretary for herself, with whom she constantly travels around and takes with her to all important meetings. And here, either you have to endure or file for divorce. And then what?
A spouse who depends financially will not be able to secure his usual benefits, therefore, often he has to endure humiliation, and, perhaps, in a short time he will simply be thrown out like a tired kitten at the door.
Marrying by calculation is possible, sometimes even necessary, but you should always remember that, as a result, you only need to rely on yourself. Disorders and problems are possible in any family union, and whether such a marriage will be happy in the end depends only on the people themselves, their upbringing, intelligence and mutual respect.
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