Magic Mike XXL 2015: Final Dance Scene
What Your Favorite "Magic Mike XXL" Dance Says About You
Channing Tatum dance-welding to "Pony."
You have a hard time accepting change but have a deep appreciation for the classics. If you had to choose one movie to take to a desert island, it would beStep Up. You are so convinced Channing Tatum is your future husband that you paid real money to seeJupiter Ascendingin IMAX 3-D on opening weekend.
Joe Manganiello doing a striptease in the minimart with Cheetos and water.
You are unashamed to admit you still eat gas-station hot dogs. Every time you watchTrue Blood, you fast-forward through every scene that doesn't include Alcide. You have your Ph.D. in '90s nostalgia with an emphasis on the Backstreet Boys. And you have watched the following GIF on a loop for the past six months:
Donald Glover singing a personalized love song at Domina.
This is not technically a dance and his pants never come off, so you may as well be watching Dora the Explorer. You're too young and innocent to have seenMagic Mike XXL. Get off this website before I call your parents.
Michael Strahan full-on mounting that woman at Domina.
You have nevernotbeen on top. Your past hookups have tried and repeatedly failed to explain the refractory period. You love to watch football, but only because their pants are so tight. The phrase "urban lumberjack" means nothing to you.
Matt Bomer cheering up the boozy housewives at Nancy's mansion.
You believe there's nothing a glass of good pinot grigio can't fix. Your daughter's boyfriends have always tried to hit on you, which you're totally fine with so long as they're old enough for it to be legal. TheReal Housewivesfranchise pisses you off because they just don't get it right, OK?
The group vogue-off at the dive bar.
Not tonight, buddy! I just came here to dance.
tWitch's debut at Domina.
It isn't so much stripping that does it for you as excellent choreography. You appreciate a finely toned male body the same way an art history student appreciates a flawless piece of Greek sculpture. After you got home fromXXL, you called Ellen DeGeneres and demanded that she fire tWitch if he doesn't agree to keep his shirt off for the duration of his time on her show.
Channing Tatum's grovel-dance at Domina.
You believe that men should hold doors open for women 100 percent of the time. Grand romantic gestures are necessary, not cheesy. Though you like a knight-in-shining-armor type, you still want to be in control at all times. You are actually Jada Pinkett Smith.
Kevin Nash'sCarmen-soundtracked pirate situation.
ForgetFifty Shades— you'd much rather have a classic romance paperback with Fabio on the cover. You prefer to be with a man who could lift two or three of you without even trying. If a guy asked you to get dressed up in period costume before sex, you'd be like, "Duh, of course."
Adam Rodriguez's whipped cream-covered "Candy Shop" routine.
Mixing food with sex is not something that has ever given you pause. Edible underwear is a way of life, not a novelty. Dance moves are fine or whatever, but what you're really interested in is full frontal. You will not rest till you have convinced your boyfriend to wear a thong on the beach.
Matt Bomer's super-sexy D'Angelo karaoke.
First of all, congratulations on being old and wise enough to know who D'Angelo is. Gold star. You like a lot of foreplay and scene setting in your romantic encounters — scented candles, rose petals, sensual slow jams, etc. Manscaping is extremely important to you.
Joe Manganiello's marriage proposal followed by sex swing.
You strongly identify with those middle-aged women who owe their sexual reawakening to E. L. James. You look back on your goth teen days through rose-colored glasses you wear to the desk job you took because selling merch for My Chemical Romance just wasn't working out. The day Trent Reznor won an Oscar was the best day of your life.
Channing and tWitch's mirror-image grand finale.
If you haven't already had a threesome, you're thinking about it. This dance, in fact, might be the thing that puts you over the edge. You believe the work of 112 belongs in a museum. If you're being honest, you're a little bit upset that none of the guys inXXLever made out with each other.
Video: MAGIC MIKE XXL - Pony - Oficial Warner Bros. Pictures
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