Your view: "Friends, meet, this is my mistress!"

Do you know the situation when your friend brings to the company not his wife, but his mistress? Not the most pleasant situation, especially if you are on good terms with his wife.
Anna Tok
When my close friend first brought his mistress into the company, I was shocked. I did not understand how to behave. Call his wife with a denunciation? Express your "fi" scoundrel in the face? Shame your mistress? To bring the situation to public discussion? Arrogantly get up and leave? Sit silently, but look with reproach? Without having thought up anything better, I chose the last option.

In this situation, I was not struck by the fact of adultery, because it is everyone’s personal choice. It was incomprehensible to me why a man suddenly decided that his friends by default should become unwitting accomplices in his atrocities. It turns out that now not only he is deceiving his wife, but we all too.

So how to behave if your friend decided to introduce you to his mistress? Having thought it over, I worked out 3 main rules of behavior in a similar situation, which worked perfectly.


1. Do not teach a friend to live

We accept friends as they are. To condemn, teach, or try to set on the path of truth does not make sense. An adult person has already formed views on life, principles and his own rules of behavior. We all know how to correctly, but everyone chooses their own path. If a person considers it acceptable to change, then this is entirely his right. To interfere in the privacy, even if a loved one is not worth it.

If you are unable to accept such a pattern of behavior, if you consider it unworthy, if you are disappointed to such an extent that you cannot keep emotions to yourself, then you should probably think about ending friendships.

2. State your boundaries

With friends it is worth being frank. To frown silently and save their discontent is not the best option if the person is dear to you. Therefore, in any incomprehensible situation, the best option is direct conversation. Having introduced you to his mistress, a friend showed disrespect and put you in an awkward situation, especially if you are on good terms with his wife. This is what you should talk about.

We all have our own limits in communicating with others, whether it is a loved one, a friend or just a passer-by. If someone violates these boundaries, it is in your interest to defend their rights.Just tell your friend that you are uncomfortable in the company of his mistress. If a friend respects you, then heed the request.


3. Do not interfere with strangers.

It's about the mistress herself. She, in fact, for you a completely stranger. You do not know anything about it, so all your conclusions will be biased and based only on conjectures and assumptions. Before you, she is not guilty of anything and owes nothing to you. Therefore, it is not necessary for her to say something, to explain, or even less to try to shame.

Nobody says that you should accept a friend's mistress as your own, but nobody has canceled politeness. Express all your claims in a personal conversation to the culprit of an unpleasant situation, and in communicating with his passion adhere to the rules of good taste.

In an ideal world, people remain faithful to their halves. Well, and if they suddenly change, they are ashamed of their actions, and do not put their “victories” on public display. In reality, everything is a little different. It is important to remember that self-esteem, tact and common sense is a recipe that will help you find a way out of almost any situation.

Our relationship expert advises not to let things take their course and take matters into their own hands.

Olga Kraynova - a writer, TV host, founder of the school of female wisdom "Good wife."
Olga Kraynova

In our time, permissiveness to be in a similar situation, dating with his mistress can be easy. And indeed, the first reaction may be the rejection of a new girl and the expression of his discontent with a friend. Of course, every person has the right to decide what to do, and we must respect the choice of a friend, but are we not in good relations with his wife?

And if there is male solidarity, then is it not worthwhile to show female solidarity in this matter? If all the friends of the deceived wife made it clear to the mistress that she was just another girlfriend, who would soon be changed, and the wife would stay for a long time, then perhaps this would help the wife in the battle for the family. In the end, would we ourselves like to find ourselves in a situation where our friends hide their husband's mistress, and also accept her with all the cordiality? No, we would consider that we were betrayed not only by her husband, but also by numerous friends. And it is much harder to accept and survive. In the end, to make it clear to the mistress that she is not in court, it can be very subtle, not leading to conflict.For example, it is very friendly and with a wide smile to say that the girl is an exact type of attachments of the unfaithful husband and that the previous ones had the same hair, eyes and even hairstyle. Even if there were no others, some tricks will not hurt.

You can also mention the wife several times by name and say how she has become prettier in recent times. Or recall what a magnificent ring gave her rightful spouse for the New Year. It's one thing to meet a man who has a hypothetical wife, and quite another when you begin to understand that the wife is more than a real object, that she has good friends, that she looks great and receives gifts from her beloved husband. In this case, any woman will think: does the man lead me by the nose and who am I really for him? And, perhaps, this alone will be enough to strengthen the relationship between husband and wife and throw the lover out of the family nest.

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